Every time we look for a recipe, no matter what it is, the first thing we immediately see are the pictures. We get excited, and start daydreaming about what the final product will look like once the recipe is completed. And we immediately think of all the social networks where we can go post all our pictures. Because let's be honest, we are addicted to letting everyone know!
But once we start reading the ingredients, the prep time, and the tools required, that's where fear comes in. We start to think, why does it take so long? Why do we need that particular ingredient? Why does it have to be cooked in the oven and not on the stove? That's where the dreams die and we run to the KFC, the taco truck, the nearest McDonald’s; or even to see what our friends or mom cooked.
Growing up in a Mexican family, the women in my family always taught me I had to learn to cook. And they didn’t do it because of that macho mentality that unfortunately still exists in our society, where men have to have their “lunch” ready daily. No! The women in my family taught me to cook to be a self-sufficient, responsible human so I wouldn’t starve when living alone.
Knowing how to cook is an act of survival, especially when you want to become independent. And even though we’re blessed to have delivery services such as Uber Eats and DoorDash, we don't always have the luxury to spend money eating out. In addition, nothing compares to the satisfaction of knowing you’ve made a delicious meal with your own two hands.
For this and many other reasons, I decided to launch this blog; a space where I can share how some of my own knowledge in the kitchen. To let you know you don’t have to love cooking to be able to prepare something delicious for yourself or your family. That’s why today I wanted to talk about 3 very important things:
1 - Lose the fear.
Don't let the pictures you see on Facebook, Instagram, or even on this blog intimidate you or make you think you can't cook. Behind every picture you see on every social media there is always a process to obtain that final product. Not all recipes will always turn out great on the first try. No blog, celebrity, or chef is going to show you the burnt bread, the dry cake, or the stiff tortilla as a final product. Whenever you try to prepare something new, remember that even the best chefs out there have made their fair share of mistakes.
I’ll be very honest with you, regardless of how many years I’ve been in the kitchen, I don’t handle failure very well. Especially when it comes to baking. Whenever I bake a dessert, I have this unrealistic expectation that I should succeed with everything on the first try. Luckily, I have a wonderful, supportive partner who helps me to constantly remind myself that it’s okay to fail every now and then. It wasn't the end of the world when I burned the banana bread on my first try; or when I forgot to keep my ingredients at room temperature for the coconut cake.
Here are some of my first failures 😭😭😭😭
Every time I make a mistake on a recipe, I take notes not only of what I did wrong but also what I did right. This helps me a lot, especially when I bake desserts at home. So, remember: Have faith in your own efforts when cooking or baking. No matter how disastrous or horribly bad things turn out, there will always be valuable lessons whenever you find failure.
2 - Start with basic dishes.
When you select a recipe you want to make, be sure to thoroughly read everything from the ingredients to the step by step process. Try to visualize what you need to do step by step before you start. That way, you will be mentally prepared once you have all of the ingredients. If there are some techniques mentioned that you’ve never heard of or would like to know more about (like a bain-marie or brunoise), make YouTube your best friend! Today there are countless resources that most of us have on hand, and the best you can do is use each of these resources to your advantage.
Don’t be scared to ask for help from your mom, your grandma, your aunts or uncles, or anyone else with more experience than you. Often times, because of shame or fear of criticism, we forget to ask for help from those close to us. Believe me, no one is going to judge you for asking how to cook rice, or make agua fresca. From my own personal experience, every time I’ve approached my family or friends with a question they are more than happy to help. So, don't be afraid to ask!
3 - In the kitchen no one is a slave or a mandilón*.
*Mandilón: a man dominated by his wife.
When you enter the kitchen, put the machismo aside. Let me mention a few phrases that I have heard since my childhood, and I know that many of you still hear to this day:
“That’s not how my mom cooks rice!”
“Only my grandma makes the best tamales!”
“Get out of the kitchen, you’re not a girl!”
“You’re such a wimp cooking!
“That’s why you need a wife!”
We are in the 21st century and phrases like these belong to the cavemen era. Sadly, there are people who still live with this kind of mentality. However, don't let any of that stop you from learning! Especially if you are a man. Preparing dinner for your wife, girlfriend, or mom doesn't make you wimp; it makes you a self-sufficient man. And if your cooking style isn’t the same as your partner's 90-year-old great-grandmother, that doesn’t mean that you’re a bad cook either. Let’s get these ridiculous ideas out of our heads. A person's gender has nothing to do with learning to cook, and no one should expect you to replicate someone’s cooking style.
Learning in general is the best way to become independent, and there is no better way to learn than to practice! So remember:
Lose your fear
Start with Basic Dishes &
Knowing how to cook doesn’t make you amandilón!
10 years ago, the word failure was not in my dictionary. Today I have learned, with countless mistakes and certainly more to come, that whatever work I put into my dishes is helping me to become a better cook. And that process is meant to be enjoyed, regardless of the outcome. With practice you will always get better, but there will always be more to learn. So, my best advice to you is, in the words of the amazing Julia Child, "Learn to cook, try new recipes, learn from your mistakes, be brave, and most of all, have fun."
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